Because I'm scared of just about everything that has to do with people. Natural disasters, disease, or financial ruin? Haven't encountered those head-on, but the thought of them doesn't make my heart race like an invitation to a nice get-together does.
People make me want to disappear. I usually become a sweaty self-conscious mess in their presence. Much of my time and energy is spent in mental gymnastics trying to appear calm, relaxed, confident...trying to fake my way through whatever social encounter I'm approaching, in, or exiting. I am a medalist in this event. I wear black. Not because it is fashionably neutral, but because it hides sweat. Seriously. Welcome to my world.
I want:
to meet people's needs, be a tool in His hand, take chances, be brave, put something down on these pages of my life. Since I haven't found a way to be both instrumental and invisible, this is part of trying to "live out loud." Still frightening, but at least I don't have to wear black since I can photoshop the sweatrings.
So.
Here.
We.
Go.
This will not necessarily be pretty, but it will be something.
And, from where I'm coming from right now I need to commit to being something.
So, here's something that I did today. Tastes of rain, this day.
